Fat people have sex.
Fat people have awesome sex. Fat people have lousy sex sometimes, too – everyone does – but it has nothing to do with them being fat.
Fat people have sex with other fat people. Fat people have sex with thin people. Fat people have sex with all kinds of people with all kinds of body types.
Fat people have vanilla sex and kinky sex. They have sex with long-term partners and casual sex with strangers. Fat people have polyamorous sex and monogamous sex, and sometimes they decide not to have sex at all.
If you flip through The Joy of Sex, you’re not going to see a lot of fat people. If you watch pornography, you’re not going to see a lot of fat people unless you specifically go looking for them, and then you’ll only find them in the kink section. The “normal” world and the culture in which we live try to deny fat people their sexuality. Who would want to have sex with a fat person?
Lots of people.
I mean, lots of people.
Fat people get laid all the time. Their sexual experiences vary just as much as the experiences of thin people. Some fat people have hundreds of sexual partners, others have only a few, and some have none at all. Some fat people have sex with wild abandon, some are reserved, and some are desperately insecure. You know…just like thin people.
That being said, there are some sexual issues, experiences, and ideas that are unique to fat people. Luckily for all of us, fat and thin alike, the inestimable Hanne Blank has written a book about them.
And what an incredible book it is.
I’m nearly finished with it, and I’m telling you…it’s awesome. Hanne deals frankly with the realities of being a fat, sexual person. With tremendous humor and grace, she discusses everything from fat admirers and chubby chasers to how to deal with being seen as a sex object; from how to prevent sex injuries to how to be considerate of a fat person’s needs; from where to get a plus-size strap-on harness to how to become more accepting of your body.
And while this book is openly and wonderfully intended for (as the cover says) fat people and the people who love them, I think everyone, regardless of body shape, has so much to gain from this book. Lessons of self-respect and self-acceptance, lessons of negotiation and consent, lessons of how to make yourself comfortable both physically and emotionally.
And, lucky for you, I have an extra copy.
So! There are two ways to win:
- Every single person who leaves a comment will be entered to win (unless you specifically note that you don’t want to be entered in the drawing.)
- You can get an extra entry if you correctly guess what fictional character I’m dressed up as in today’s Outfit of the Day. I’ll give you this hint: the blouse and slacks are representational, but the coat (a “costume” piece that I plan on wearing every day, as soon as it gets cold enough) is spot-on.
So, if you write a comment that says “I love pie!” you get one entry. If you comment with a guess as to who’s coat that is, and you’re wrong, you get one entry. If you guess whose coat that is and you’re right, you get two entries.
Please note that you must leave your comment here, on my blog. Comments left on Facebook/Google+/Twitter won’t be counted!